The Murderer With My Face
by 40winkingbutterfly
Summary: CROSSOVER! stuck in an alternate universe where Hogwarts is real,Jack and the doctor10's only hope of getting home is a compromise with an old friend of the doctor's. But can they work out the riddle of the murderer with the doctor's face? r&r please
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: Despite having put them on the top of many a Christmas wish list, none of the below characters or places belong to me, and the only profit I shall get out of using them is the joy of making them have sex.

"Woah, shiny…" said Jack, reaching out to stroke a ghostly silver unicorn foal that had just that moment, clip-clopped towards him from out of the gloom.

"Don't touch," commanded the Doctor quickly, not turning from his inspection of the TARDIS, but pointing accusingly at Jack Harknesses' out-stretched hand, which stopped hurriedly and sheepishly withdrew.

"For once, keep your hands to yourself until I work out where the hell we are. The TARDIS doesn't even seem to know." The Doctor wrinkled his nose and pulled on his ear as he inspected the outside of the deceptively small box "Wherever we are, she doesn't seem to pleased, old girl…" He went to return inside, but didn't get far. "The door's locked! Hey!" The Doctor addressed the blue police box. "You're meant to like me." He turned to Jack, but he was still watching the glowing foal, which was nuzzling against his hip, an uncharacteristically soppy expression gracing his chiselled face.

"You know that generally they only like girls, right?"

Jack swung round to glare at his time lord companion, the sudden movement spooking the ethereal animal. Sadly, he watched it it canter back into the shadows.

"That and virgins…" came the distracted voice of the Doctor from behind him.

Jack tossed back the long blue coat and shoved his hands in his pockets, pouting at the back of the Doctor's head, hoping to receive one of the his world class grins to shake him out of his pretend sulk. But the man was in manic concentration mode and fiddling with the TARDIS' Yale lock.

Shrugging, Jack looked around the small clearing they had landed in, squinting through the thick darkness of a very dense forest. They had been on their way back to 21st centaury Cardiff to visit Jack's team at Torchwood. He had the sneaking suspicion the Doctor was trying to get rid of him after three months of them travelling together. But an unexpected temporal shift had thrown them off course and wherever they were now was giving off some kind radiation or field which the TARDIS evidently hadn't liked, as it threw both Jack and the Doctor off the controls with an electronic shock when they had tried to turn back on course.

The trees here were huge and gnarled – obviously very old. Jack couldn't see their tops, or even the sky. Absently he wondered whether they were on earth, and if so, _when _ they were, or even whether it was day or night. The occasional blue flash emitted from the Doctor's vicinity lit up a sludgy floor, littered with mouldy leaves, cobwebs and…was that a bone? The cold light ghosted over it again. Yes, tiny, fragile little bones, half submerged in mud. Jack crouched and gently picked a half crushed rat skull out of the grime and wiped it on his sleeve, admiring its intricacy.

"Damn it," came the clench-jawed exclamation of the Doctor, accompanied by the thud of his fist on the TARDIS door.

"Hmm?" murmured Jack, flicking a leaf off what turned out to be a fully intact ribcage of possibly a fox or a rabbit.

"Jack." No response. "Jack? The TARDIS, Jack. It's fucking locked its self. I can't get in."

"You've got a key," Jack pointed out, pocketing the skull as he turned on his haunches to look up at the Doctor from under his eyelashes, but the Doctor yet again wasn't looking, but shaking his head, rummaging through his pockets, frowning.

"Right. Psychic paper." He slapped it out of his pocket and onto his hand "mobile wiiith... no signal." He shoved both back into an inside pocket "Do you have yours?"

"Yeah, but wh –"

"_And _one trusty sonic screwdriver," the Doctor cut across him, then quickly kissed it and shoved it back into his pocket. A quick frenzied grin to a faltering captain jack and he was off "This way!" he called after him happily as he marched quickly into the gloom, leaving a confused Jack to scramble to his feet, regretting the long coat, and jog after him.

Really hoping the rapidly moving silhouette in front of him _was _the Doctor, Jack fought his way through low hanging, cobweb filled branches.

"Where the hell are you going, doc?" He called ahead. No response. _Too dark to even check the ass I've studied so well_, thought Jack wryly as he wiped sticky white web from his eyes. Eyes clear, he noticed the Doctor was nearly out of sight.

Panting and vaulting over a half fallen log as agilely as he could, Jack threw out a hand to grab the Doctor by the shoulder and slow him down, but the slim man had already stopped dead, and all 6 foot of immortal hunk crashed into his back. The Doctor went flying.

The resulting tangle was attractive to say the least, if a little muddy.

"Ow."

Wheezing and giggling out an apology, Jack reluctantly rolled off the Doctors back. The crushed man sat up carefully, rubbing his neck and wincing.

"A little over enthusiastic again there Jack," the Doctor grunted with the twitch of an eyebrow.

"Oh you can talk," smirked Jack, proffering a hand. "And anyway, it's your fault." Jack heaved on the Doctor's hand, a little too hard, pulling him from seated to thrust against his chest in one quick tug. "You shouldda warned me before you stopped dead mid sprint," Jack murmured, eyes drifting down to the Doctor's mouth.

"Jack."

"Mm, what's up doc?"

"Jack, your hand is on my arse."

"Is it?" and he leant in.

But the Doctor leant back, his eyes suddenly intense and his hand removing Jack's

quickly. "Don't."

"Don't what?" asked Jack, a small smile playing on his lips, the picture of innocence. But the Doctor gave him a warning glare and turned away to where he had stopped before the collision. Not giving up yet, by far, Jack followed, watching the focus of his fantasies these past few months. The Doctor was shining the sonic screwdriver

down as a supplement torch.

Lying on its back, legs curled up to its hard-cased belly, a hundred eyes cloudy and white, lay a spider, two foot wide.

" An Araclithar?!" exclaimed Jack. "I didn't know they _had _trees onAtapia-Ethon."

"We're not on Atapia – Atapia's atmosphere is made primally of carbon monoxide."

"Right. I knew that. So, why is there an Araclithar on…wait, where are we again?"

"No idea," said the Doctor in one speedy exhale, pulling on his ear and still looking blankly down at the dead arachnid. "And that's not an araclithar."

"Fine," said Jack, folding his arms and cocking his head. "What is it then, Mr. Smarty pants?"

The Doctor looked at him with wide eyes, his mouth opening and closing slightly. "_Well_, it's uh…it's uh, well it's…A really, _really_ big spider."

Jack, however, had no time to mock, or even to raise one dark eyebrow, before the eerie silence was split by a worryingly close strangled, screaming, gurgling cry.

"What the _fuck_?" Jack spun around to the direction of the sound. Behind him, the Doctor grimaced, his eyebrows contracting as desperately tried to peer into the dark, where a new sound had joined the screech – a clicking, scuttling which made the ground beneath them vibrate slightly.

"Ideas?" requested Jack

"Yep. Run."

"Just warn me if you stop," said Jack, suddenly excited as they leapt back over the log.

"Oh I'm not going to be stopping..." the Doctor breathed out. And they ran, coats flapping behind them as a wave of foot-high spiders with distinctly unfriendly pincers crashed through the trees.

"The TARDIS, Doc!" yelled Jack as they sped past it

"No time, she'll be fine".

But Jack tripped as he tried to look over his shoulder. The Doctor darted back and dragged Jack to his feet and glanced quickly behind. But the spiders had mysteriously stopped - the TARDIS standing between two men and the swarm of monsters. They clicked and screeched angrily, but made no move forwards.

"…Are they …_scared_?" demanded the Doctor "Oh come _on_!! We were running, you were chasing…it was fun!"

"I really don't think we should be taunting right now," muttered Jack, tugging the Doctor's sleeve in an attempt to keep him moving.

The Doctor stepped forwards and grinned, hands in his pockets. "It's the TARDIS – she's protecting herself. Like a…" he searched for a metaphor, one hand doing a royal wave by his ear, "…a cat spraying its territory…or a bug with bright colours pretending its poisonous – she's warning them not to come any closer," he said over his shoulder to Jack. His smile widening, he turned back.

"Hello, I'm the Doctor. And you would be…?" he looked at the mass inquisitively before taking a deep breath in and raising his eyebrows, " …a-bunch-of-genetically-modified-daddylonglegs-with-as-much-ettiquette-as…well, as a bunch of genetically modified daddy longlegs. Nice to meet you." He raised a hand in greeting, then ran it through his hair. "_Well,_ I say nice…" he tugged on his ear, "I mean horrific… _Well,_ I say horrific, I …"

But the worst sound in all the universes to be heard at _that moment_, started behind him. The pulsating siren of the TARDIS departing. Mid word and ear-tug, he turned, his eyes wide and staring as the blue box disappeared. "I _mean_…uh, bye!"

As the trees thinned in front of him, Jack half pushed, half tackled the Doctor the rest of the way out of the forest. The screeching and clicking died a way and the two men lay spread-eagled, panting on damp grass.

"I bloody _hate _that machine!" The Doctor exclaimed through clenched teeth

Rolling over and pushing himself into a seated position, Jack managed to catch his breath. "So, what now?" he asked wryly.

"Shut up."

"But we –"

"Shut _up_, Jack"

Jack went to speak again, but caught the Doctor's eye. There was a panic and a sadness there that he had rarely seen before. He moved closer. The Doctor went to rub his forehead and hide his face, but Jack took his hand and clasped it. The Doctor, still breathing deeply, looked him straight in the eye and spoke harshly through clenched teeth.

"She's never done this before. Didn't even know she could. She's my _home_, Jack. My constant. The only thing that stays with me. I _need_ her!" Jack said nothing. He didn't know what he could say that would possibly help. "And wherever we are must be very different to anywhere I've taken her before…and we're trapped".

Jack watched the Doctor screw his eyes up in frustration. He'd never been the same since losing Rose. He kept up the 'I've got everything under control' farce. Mostly, he pulled it off, but underneath he was panicking. Of all his companions, never had the loss of someone affected him as much as Rose had. It was wrong to see him like this.

"Hey."

The Doctor didn't look up, but stopped rubbing his face and breathing so fast.

"Hey, look at me".

The Doctor looked up, defiance in his eyes.

"When have you ever stayed trapped anyplace – even 'trapped' at _the end of the universe _you got both our asses back to London in one damn good looking piece."

The doctor gave Jack a small smile, but then recognition flashed suddenly in his eyes and he pulled himself to his feet and went into rant-mode.

"Right, she's on auto pilot. It's a mechanism that switches on whenever I leave the controls, which we did, just for a second," he glanced at Jack sheepishly, but quickly breezed over what exactly _had _distracted him (namely Jack in the shower with the door open to the main control room), "before some sort of field hit us and threw us off. So, technically, she should be going to the same place I programmed in. To her, this would have been like…a really grotty motorway cafe where you don't leave your door unlocked. She _must _be, there's no way she could control the destination, which means she'll be..."

"Cardiff, 2007, Wales, Britain, Earth, The Milky way, The Universe version 50034.2 dimension 4!"

"In_deed_. Wrist!"

"…Huh?"

But the Doctor grabbed his wrist and pulled back the heavy cloth of the coat, at which point his smile faded. He grabbed the other wrist and checked that one too. "Where is it?"

"What?"

"Your time-and-space-space-hopper, Jack, where is it?!" The Doctor was suddenly fierce.

"_Oh_! It's um, it's kinda in the TARDIS…"

"Fuck!" and he threw Jack's arm back at him, his hands flying to pull at his hair and he turned away.

"Doctor!" Jack ran after him "Doctor, someone here could help us, or, like, point us in the right direction! Doctor, come on!"

The Doctor spun and grabbed Jack's shoulders, his face suddenly calm.

"Ok, ok. We will go, we will ask. If no one, as I expect, has a bloody clue what we're talking about, then, _then, _you allow me to have a tantrum, yes?"

Lifting a hand and stroking the Doctor's face, Jack asked; "How come you're so sure, hmm? That nobody here will be able to help?"

The Doctor made no movement to suggest he'd even felt Jack's hand on his cheek "To your left, Jack, is a very, very old castle. There are candles glowing in the windows. No age where there are candles being burnt in a castle will have ever encountered time-travel."

Jack dropped his hand and turned. It was night and the stars clearly showing in the sky. There was a mountainous horizon and a lake, but no castle.

"No, all I can see is a ruin and a billboard saying…" He squinted through the darkness "'Warning, unsafe, keep clear.'"

"Interesting," said the Doctor, glancing at Jack, who was looking straight at a very, very obvious castle. Taking Jack by the elbow, as he had a feeling he knew what was coming next, he strode towards main doors.

"Hello? It's _unsafe_!" whined Jack, his eyes looking suddenly glazed

"No its not," the Doctor answered and marched onwards

"I've just remembered…I think I've got a Doctor's appointment."

"You're immortal, you don't have a Doctor."

"Like hell I don't!" said Jack, growling low in his throat suddenly and pulling on the Doctor's arm to make him stop. In one movement, he reached round to grab his arse. "Lets go make out somewhere…"

"What? No!" the Doctor hadn't expected this and it wasn't going to help him get the TARDIS back…but it was a little tempting. More than a little actually… but then Jack was trying to drag him back to the forest.

"Come on, let's go!"

"Jack we're going into the castle, NOW"

"What castle?" Stopping and gaping around, Jack looked genuinely confused, as if this was the first time the Doctor had mentioned any castle

"The one we're going into."

"No, it says it's unsafe," Jack informed him, as he spotted the sign again. He couldn't seem to look at the building, the Doctor noticed, his eyes flicking away and going blank every time he tried to focus. The Doctor sighed and decided to take things into his own hands, literally. Swinging himself round to Jack's back, he put a palm firmly on each buttock and squeezed. Finally, Jack was obeying, walking where the Doctor nudged him…and pretended not to lock away the feeling of Jacks arse in his head for another time.

And then it happened. A sort of invisible wave hit Jack and the Doctor. Jack reeled and blinked.

"Woah, big castle."

The Doctor sighed and put his arms round Jack's shoulders from behind.

"It's a school. Of 'witchcraft and wizardry' I do believe"

"Waddya say?" Jack tried to look at the Doctor's head, resting and grinning on his shoulder.

"Oh come on you great big poof," said the Doctor, slapping his arse – suddenly in a much better mood. He breezed a kiss on Jack's neck from behind, then started bouncing on his toes up to the huge oak doors. Jack blushed; he actually _blushed_ when the Doctor looked back at him, and licked his lips.

"If I'm right, we're about to meet Harry Potter".

Authors Note: Thank you to my wonderful (and ever pokeable) Beta Sugargrazed! Wubu. Please read and review.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: Despite having put them on the top of many a Christmas wish list, none of the below characters or places belong to me, and the only profit I shall get out of using them is the joy of making them have sex.

The entrance hall was magnificent – a huge stone staircase sweeping up one side. Their gazes following it up, the Doctor and Jack saw a criss-crossing network of staircases _moving _high above them, leading to countless floors.

"Fancy," Jack stated from behind the Doctor, who was strangely silent.

There was a large amount of chatter and clinking of cutlery coming from behind another set of high oak doors. Jack wandered towards it, paused and then pulled it open a crack. He just had time to glimpse a thousand black-robed children with floating candles lit over their heads, before the doctor pushed firmly on the door with a flat palm.

"Are we on a film set?" asked Jack carefully from under the Doctor's arm.

"A film set? Oh no no _no_, the films are just _poor _compared to this," said the Doctor, admiring the painting-clad walls above them with his mouth slightly open.

"Why can't we go in?" demeaned Jack, forever in commander mode.

"Oh it's rude to interrupt during dinner!" he looked back at Jack. "And anyway," he said, suppressing a smile and wandering backwards with is hands in his pockets, "someone's coming".

Sure enough, the huge front doors crashed open, revealing two boys – one short and skinny with dark messy hair and ridiculous round glasses, and the other lanky, pale and fiery-haired, both being dragged by their collars. The man between them was white with rage, his teeth bared and dark eyes ablaze.

"Do you have _any _idea the seriousness of what you have done? You were seen! By no less than fou –"

He stopped dead, eyes fixed on the doctor, who was standing at the bottom of the stairs, hands still in his pockets and his face blank, apart from a little twinkle in his eyes.

"Woah," came the murmur from Jack as he made his way to the Doctor's side "I know who he is!" he half whispered, as if in the cinema.

The Doctor didn't answer him, just stepped forward.

"Hello Severus. Long time no see."

This was followed by a very long silence, in which both Jack and the two boys looked back and fourth in confusion and expectation, between the Professor and the Doctor.

"Go to dinner," Severus commanded, throwing the boys from his grasp, so that they staggered to keep their footing. Pulling their clothes back into place, they hesitated, staring at the Doctor and Jack.

"Who are you?"

It was the dark haired boy that spoke, his ginger friend standing further back and looking worriedly on at his friend's confidence.

"GO!" Snape's fierce snarling shout got the message across and the two boys scuttled through the doors to the hall, looking back over their shoulders.

"He doesn't look like Daniel Radcliff… kind of a pity," Jack told them as he watched the two boys go, but the Doc and Professor were still in the middle of a staring contest.

Unsure whether he should be there, Jack shifted awkwardly, tapping his nails on the banister, but stopped as soon as he saw the look coming his way from between two greasy curtains of black hair.

Snape blinked slowly.

"You cannot be here."

"I _know!_ Lucky mistake eh? I couldn't believe it at first either, but here I am! I mean, here _we _are," he gave Jack a little nod "And you, Sev, you look exactly the same." He grinned.

Snape scoffed.

"As wonderful as it would be to have a lovely fuzzy catch up and exclaim over the marvel of finding you back here so soon, whilst sipping cheap firewhiskey in your goddamned blue box, that is _not _what I meant." he folded his arms carefully "You simply cannot be here, please leave."

The doctor's grin became fixed and false.

"Ok then… that's not quite what I expected…" Muttered the doctor

"Well, ya see, that's just the problem. We lost the 'goddamned blue box' and if you expect me to wander back into that fucking forest anytime soon, I've got news for you, buddy."

The Doctor silenced Jack with a hand on the shoulder, not mentioning that the man seemed to have changed his tack a bit since he was trying to drag him in there to do God knew what behind a bush.

The Doctor strode down to stand opposite Snape, his footsteps careful and paced. When their eyes were level, he spoke – just quiet enough that Jack couldn't hear.

"I thought you would be pleased to see me," he smiled. "And anyway, I'm not leaving just because you say so."

"I know who you are, but I guarantee that every single other person here will recognise you as someone completely different. Believe me; you do _not _want to be mistaken for who you look so very like."

The Doctor said absolutely nothing, just pulled his head back and continued to stare resolutely into Snape's obsidian eyes, frowning.

"Who do I look like?"

"A psychopath. And I don't want to be seen talking to you. I don't care very much how you get away from here, but just go. Now".

The Doctor folded his arms and stuck out his bottom lip.

"No."

Snape bared his teeth and took a step towards the doctor, jabbing one trembling potion-stained finger under his chin.

"I haven't got time to play games with you _Doctor._" His lip twitched on the world, a mocking sneer making his face even more ugly then before, Jack thought. "Dinner will have finished in a few short minutes and this hallway will be filled with a mass of keen-eyed, gossiping school children and a range of highly skilled staff members who, given your 'evil twin' will not hesitate in attacking you. Your face does not bode well for your fate in this world." He grabbed the Doctor by the jaw "_Leave"._

Before the Doctor could take a breath to ask since when exactly, had he had a twin, Jack had ripped Snape from his stance by the back of his robes and come between them.

"Do yourself a favour and don't touch him again. Or me. I've met some damned ugly aliens in my time and some totally unfriendly people who've tried to _kill_ me, shucks to them, but gees, buddy, you really, as the British say, take the fucking biscuit"

"Jack I do not need your protection. Severus here and Iare old friends and I would thank you not to insult him in front of me." Jack stopped mid-diatribe and stared blankly at the Doctor. "Sev, Jack here and I will be waiting in your quarters for you, and an explanation. Don't worry, I still know the way."

He beckoned Jack with his head and turned to walk down a staircase to their left.

"Dungeons, right?" he said without turning, his hands back in his pockets. "And I _never_ forget a password," he added before Snape could say a word, trotting down the steps. "Useful things, passwords."

And he was gone.

Jack, however, walked back to opposite Snape and lifted his chin defiantly, setting his jaw and looking down on the greasy man– they were almost exactly the same height so the effect was lost a little.

Snape's eyes narrowed and he pursed his lips.

"I don't like you, but hell you're sexy when you do that." Snape's eyes widened in a shot and all the tension in his folded arms vanished as shock and outrage flashed onto his face.

Jack slapped him twice gently on a sallow cheek with his palm.

"Ja-ck! I said don't to-uch!" Came a sing-song echo-y voice of the doctor from the descending stairs.

"Later, sweetums," Jack sneered, then followed at a jog with a "Coming, baby!"

Snape didn't move until he realized the dinner halls were being opened and as he predicted, the hall was swarming with robed cockroaches. Not knowing what else to do, he set off down the stairs too. _At least make sure they're out of the sight of my Slytherins. _

Thanks again to sugargrazed, my liddle liver-eating monkey. R&R bitte.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: Despite having put them on the top of many a Christmas wish list, none of the below characters or places belong to me, and the only profit I shall get out of using them is the joy of making them have sex.

Chapter 3

Jack would not sit down. He was cold, tired and his blue great coat, though chosen for a certain swish and style, was heavy with moisture and mud, not to mention that his knees had taken this moment to tremble. Possibly an after shock of the 'big spidery beasties', as the doctor had so eloquently put it to Snape, who had merely sneered and looked a little puzzled. He shifted against the wall, locking his knees to keep his balance, and re-fixed Snape with the _death glare_. He was not about to admit he was in shock. It didn't suit his image, he decided. He was 'Capt'n Jack Harkness' – hard as rock' – in his head this was always said in the typical movie trailer, booming and overly threatening voice of Hollywood. And he was _not _going to sit in thi_s Jerk' s _overly-polished furniture, despite the fact that the doctor was practically _lounging _on one of the green leather armchairs as he and Snape chatted (well, the doctor babbled on enthusiastically while Snape watched Jack suspiciously, his eyes narrow and cold. He would _not_ sit on the luxuriously quilted chair by the huge, inviting fire, despite, nah, _especially_ since Snape had practically _ordered _him to when they arrived.

'Sit' he'd said to both of them. 'Sit' – as if they were two stinking pups! The doctor had flopped happily into the nearest armchair, his trench coat fanning out around him like a cape. But Jack had refused, offering a clipped "no, thanks", preferring to stay close to the door. Snape's brow had knitted so firmly you would have thought Jack had told him to piss off, rather then simply declined a seat, but had said no more.

Jack smirked at that now. _Didn't know how to handle me, huh? Well, tough shit, buddy it doesn't get easier with Captain Jack._

So, here they were, Snape perched tensely on the edge of his desk, arms folded over his high necked, buttoned black robe and eyes darting angrily between Jack and the Doctor. Jack glared back – looking every bit the petulant child, but the doctor continued to chatter on, unaffected by the greasy twat's hostility. Jack bristled for the Doctor's sake – for how damn _rude_ this 'old friend' was being to him, and snarled at Snape. But the lanky figure wasn't looking his way.

"….and that's when it fell of in my hand!" The doctor concluded his reminiscence and Jack realised he hadn't heard a word the doctor had said. Neither, it seemed, had Snape, who coughed carefully and said

"Quite".

The doctor grinned at some unknown joke and looked between the two edgy men in the room with him, gauging their faces. The grin was forced from his face slowly, but remained in his eyes.

"So, Snapey-boy, how've _you _been?"

Snape gave him yet another withering assessment with eyes. "Just _spiffing_, thank you kindly, Mister Doctor"

"Oh _please, _just 'Doctor' will do. Never been a Mister in my life, unless you count John Smith, but you know me too well for that. No no, 'Doctor' it is! You can call me 'Doc', like Jack, if you want" He winked at Jack, who opened his mouth to object – that was _his _pet name! But was cut across again by the Doctor.

"Or Doccy, Doc-love, sweetie, DocBob, darling. Anything you wish really. Though I'd steer clear of the whole 'Mater, Lord, Oh-great-one' thing, only that tends to go to my head just a touch. Hope you understand, Sev."

"Very well,_ Doctor_" Snape bit out, attempting to halt him in his ramblings.

"Wonderful," the Doctor lavished, flopping back in his chair "Any tea, Severus? Or should I play mother?"

"_Doctor_.' Severus snapped. "Would you be so kind as to please explain yourself, and your…_assistant's _presence in this school, and indeed, now in _my rooms_ before you begin demanding such trivialities as _tea _from me!" Snape was now standing in front of his desk, arms rigid by his sides and his long, pale hands in fists. The Doctor said nothing, only studied ugly the man from his seat, frowning slightly.

"Jeez, I thought you two were meant to be _old friends_._" _Jack muttered from his position by the door. Snape turned his head to look at him, his hair swinging lankly in his eyes, but the Doctor didn't turn– his eyes remaining resolutely on Snape's face. Jack raised an eyebrow at Snape and stepped forward.

"So did I". The voice came from the chair, before Jack had the chance to continue. Snape kept his gaze firmly on Jack, his lips tightening. Jack frowned at both if them.

"Professor Snape? If the Doc's your pal, surely he deserves a little more hospitality from you, seeing as we've already made it pretty damn clear that we're both _stuck _here and came to you for some fucking _help._"

Snape cocked his head, his more than adequate nostrils flaring dangerously. "We are not, nor were we ever '_pals'. _We have met before – on that you are correct, congratulationsbut the circumstances of that meeting are neither relevant, nor any of your bloody business."

"That's 'Captain'. Captain Jack Harkness_."_ Jack preened

"Captain of what, exactly?" Snape's eyes gleamed and he turned his body to face Jack, pulling himself to his full and considerable height – which was ever so slightly taller than Jack. Jack stepped forwards.

"RAF for one of many."

"Well, _Captain, _despite your wonderfully _charming_ accent, forgive me if I gave you the impression that I wanted to be, or ever _would_ be impressed by anything you have to say. Believe me, you have already proved your wholly arrogant, self-obsessed, undeniably _Yanky _attitude. You and I will never see eye to eye, thank Merlin, so why don't you make it easier for me to ignore you and save me a worse headache than I already have?

"It is beyond me why you think the doctor's and my past dealings are any of your business. Whatever kind of travelling 'eye-candy'- as you Americans say- you are to him now, that was then, and this is now. I have already stated that what was _then, _to me, has absolutely _no _bearing on what is _now. _Neither you, nor the_ Doctor _know me, nor are my 'pals'.So _kindly _desist from asking, or attempting to shove your obtusely chiselled face into my business again" He stepped back and to the cabinet on the wall. "Scotch, Doctor?"

Jack reeled very slightly. "Did you just compliment me?"

Snape made no move to show he had heard Jack, but simply handed the doctor a cut crystal glass with a generous amount of amber liquid swishing in the bowl of it. The Doctor took at and swirled it on his knee and looked up at Jack, a fleeting grin and expression of barely contained amusement on his face. He sipped his scotch, breathed in sharply at the burn, sighed in pleasure and turned back to Snape.

Snape took the seat opposite the doctor, elegantly folded his long legs and looked over the rim of his glass and into his eyes. They sat like this for an age, simply staring at each other. Jack had no idea what to do. He wanted to talk back to Snape, protect his honour and bring the asshole down off his high horse. But the Doctor didn't seemed fazed in the slightest by Snape's acerbic diatribe, and suddenly Snape was sitting there, happy to talk and accept the Doctor's as an acquaintance, if not the friend the Doctor had claimed he was . _Leave you two to it, then, shall I?_ thought Jack, settling himself on Snape's desk and watch the pair. This was no doubt going to take a while with Snape being almost as prickly as – well, as Jack could be himself.

With the glasses re-filled and the atmosphere in the room at little warmer, Snape finally gave up the waiting game.

"Well?"

The Doctor looked at him. "Well what?"

Snape clenched his jaw, but answered blandly. "Why are you here? Why can't you simply _leave_? I've explained the dangers of you being here."

"Actually you haven't. And anyway, _I've _already explained why Jack and I are here. We got knocked, well…more like _shoved _off course and ended up here."

"And the…blue box?" Snape inquired carefully, as if unsure his information was correct.

"The TARDIS?" The Doctor's face was blank for a second and he swirled his drink again. From his un-obtrusive seat on the desk, Jack desperately wanted to comfort the Doctor again. Even if it was just with a strong hand on his shoulder. Maybe Snape would understand. Unlikely.

"She's not here. Well…" The Doctor rubbed the back of his neck, and for a second, Jack felt both a rush of lust at the masculine gesture, and a strange feeling in his chest. _Aw Doc, cheer up... "_She left. The…um…the spidery beasties set off her primal protective instincts. Unfortunately, she only saved herself, not her owners."

Snape watched the doctor carefully as the young face quickly formed back into a mask of blank indifference. "I see. Where do you think it might be?"

"Well Jack and I guess she's probably gone back to her last destination, which is Cardiff in 2008 in our universe, no yours. And a guess with mine and Jack's experience is pretty near definite."

Snape continued to gaze frustratingly, clearly waiting for the Doctor to ask, unwilling to offer himself.

"Could, I mean…_would _you help us?" The Doctor looked uncharacteristically vulnerable an d Jack mentally threatened Snape. _This better be the right answer, buddy. Just _look_ at him…_

"The 'could' part is by far the most important part of your question. Whether I _will_ or not is irrelevant. If we have the 'technology', then even if I don't care to aid you, I'm sure someone else would, despite your face."

"Yes." The Doctor seemed to mull this over. _"_Yes. I'm sorry, what _is _this about my face, Sev? You never had a problem with it before." The Doctor winked.

Snape's face remained shuttered, but Jack boggled. _Oh come on, no way!_

Snape gave a small cough, then asked "Do you not care to inquire whether I think I _can_ get you – both of you," he added, glancing at Jack, "home?"

The Doctor grinned, ruffled his own hair and leant back. "Come on, Severus, I know you. And you're an astoundingly intelligent man. From the moment I explained mine and Jack's predicament, if you'd known you couldn't help, you'd have thrown us out straight away. The fact that we're both still here, invading your space – and I know how private you are, Sev – means you know a way to help. And I trust you. Normally I trust only one man and one man alone," Jack's heart skipped a beat, "Myself. But I trust you. You know you can help us, therefore, you will. And I need not ask you anymore about it." Jack was stuck somewhere between shock at the Doctor's open trust and an attempt to hide his disappointment that that 'one man' hadn't been him.

Snape looked openly shocked, his moth slightly open and brows slowly knotting. "Very Well." And he swallowed down the rest of his scotch with one gulp.

The Doctor gave a small smile. "So, about my face?" He struck a ridiculous pout and half-lidded eyes, his hand coming up flat and palm down, fingertips resting under his chin like an armature model. Jack couldn't resist snorting. Both men turned to look at him. The Doctor smiled at him, his face full of affection and despite himself, Jack felt his stomach filling with pleasure, as it always did when the Doctor smiled at him. But Snape looked at him as if he'd forgotten Jack was there, and severely wished he wasn't. Despite himself, Jack almost blushed with frustration that Snape was privy to his and the Doctor's continuing flirting tête-à-tête. That was his, the_ doctor_ was his, and it was private.

"You face is dangerous," Snape replied flatly.

"You didn't think so before."

Snape glared at him. "As I have _said, _'before' has _absolutely no relevance _to 'now'_."_

"But I was here before and you had no problem with my face. I haven't been here since, have I? And done something terrible?"

Snape looked at him blankly. "I don't know, have you? Surely _you _would know that, not me?"

The Doctor shrugged. "Future me could have been here between now and the last time I saw you."

Snape frowned. Then in seconds he was on his feet, wand in hand and pointed between the Doctor's eyes.

"Woah buddy, the Doc's done nothing!" Said Jack, jumping to his feet.

"Jack! The doctor said quickly, rising to his feet and lifting his hands above his head. "For all we know, I could have done".

Snape narrowed his eyes and gripped his wand tighter, moving it swiftly between them. After a pointed look from the Doctor, Jack raised his hands too.

But, after a moment, Snape shook his head. "No. No that can't be it." And he slowly slipped the wand back up his sleeve. "You'd have to had returned here, into a woman's womb, been born and grown up in the public eye for everyone, including me, to be able to recognise you as Barty Crouch…he's not you, as I first suspected he might be, but he bares a striking if not _exact _resemblance to you

This was getting stupid!

"_Who _does?" Jack demanded from the desk.

Snape studied him. "Barty Crouch. Junior."

Jack made a face to show that made things no clearer, but the Doctor's eye's had widened and he was rubbing his jaw.

"Doc?"

The Doctor held his knuckles under his nose. "Oh… that's just _not_ good"

"Quite." Snape agreed.

"Care to explain, anyone?" Jack was getting damn fed up of being left out of the conversation.

"Not really," said Snape without looking at him, but the Doctor cut in.

"Sev, let me explain to Jack. Correct me if I'm wrong because I need to get this straight in my head too."

Snape said nothing, only looked at the Doctor, then nodded.

"Jack, come and sit." He signalled the other chair, next to his, forming the three men into the points of a triangle. Jack hesitated, but complied, too frustrated to procrastinate about a seat anymore. "Right," the Doctor began, taking a deep breath and sitting up in his chair, suddenly eager and obviously about to flip into rant-mode.

"Go slow Doc, I'm just a pretty boy. Not much up here," Jack added, knocking his head with his knuckles. The Doctor shot him a cheeky warning glance at the sarcy comment, muttering his name in admonishment. Jack threw his hands up in a mock surrender, smiled and put his hands on his knees, ready to listen. Across from them, Snape watched with a frown, his face unreadable and there was something very slightly wistful in his cold black eyes. But the Doctor had started talking, so this went unnoticed.

"When I was here last time, Severus here was twenty years old, and had just joined the ranks of a sort of cult…lead by a very powerful, but very evil wizard." The Doctor shot Snape a quick imploring look, but Snape neither said nor did anything, just blinked once slowly to show the Doctor it was okay to continue. He looked shuttered and distant. The Doctor turned back to Jack and opened his mouth, only to be interrupted.

"Wait, this powerful evil dude, that's Lord Voldemort, right?" Jack questioned.

"You don't pronounce the 't', but essentially, yes. Wait! Do I actually need to explain any of this to you?"

"I only read the first book," Jack admitted.

"Ah, what? But they're _brilliant!_ Good against evil, pure humanity and humanity twisted, magic, friendship, mystery, prophesy, some damn sexy characters? It's just like you and me, Jack!"

Jack grinned. "Reading's not my thing".

Snape snorted, and when the two men looked at him, he brushed aside the disapproval of Jack and raised his eyebrows at both of them. "What are you two babbling about? And how in Merlin's name does he know about the Dark Lord?"

The doctor's mouth hung open and his eyes went wild and darted to Jack. His mouth opened and closed a few times and his hand rose to do his trademark comfort-ear-pull. "Uh…long story, Sev. I'll explain another time. Don't worry," he added quickly "Jack's not been here before, have you, Jack? Jack?"

It took a second for Jack to realise he was being spoken to. His eyes had been drawn, bizarrely, to Snape's ankle. The man had uncrossed his legs and leant forward when talking to the Doctor about Voldemort, and his robe had been swept to the side to show a small strip of ankle and calf above buttoned up black boots. The man was wearing sock-suspenders over clearly outlined, tight muscle. Jack gulped quickly.

"What, sorry? Uh, no. No I haven't." He swallowed again. Sock suspenders on a greasy jerk. Who knew Captain Jack Harkness could find that a turn on. Jesus, was he ill?

The Doctor was smirking at him and Snape's ankle had disappeared from view.

"_Any_way," said the Doctor, leaning back in his chair and gesturing with the hand holding his scotch. The amber liquid swished dangerously within the diamond cut glass. "When I came here before, again, by accident, I helped Dumbledore, just a little, convince Snape to re-think his actions and become a spy for the light. He would remain a deatheater – one of Voldemort's followers, but a _faux_ deatheater, and a genuine spy for the Order of The Phoenix – Dumbledore's army against evil." He took a large gulp of scotch and grimaced "Is that right, Sev?"

"Correct. And I have continued to play this part, with much personal risk. And a lot of very personal pain But, I suppose, far less than if I had _no_ comrades on the side of light." The Doctor watched him for a second, Jack noted. Something like sadness playing in his eyes. But then it was gone and he had turned back to Jack.

"I stayed here for a while. And I fought. A secret member of the order, known only by Severus. Voldemort, as you know, was defeated by a child – one Harry Potter." At this, Snape made a strange noise – somewhere between a snort and an 'eugh'. The Doctor smirked. "When it seemed Sev here could live a normal life again, I left. That's the story, and the details are _private_, Jack." He looked up at Snape's detached expression. "And irrelevant, as Severus says."

The Doctor still looked at Snape. "But," he added to the black clad man, 'never once did you say I looked like someone else, recognised me as someone I wasn't, or warned me that others would do so. I remember that you simply wanted to keep me to yourself." The doctor inclined his head and they seemed to share something between their eyes.

"Back then you were simply the Doctor to me. A mysterious stranger who helped me and who I begrudgingly trusted. However, since then, I met a man whom I had known, but whose face I had never seen."

"Barty Crouch Junior".

"Indeed. He was a fellow death eater, and a close one to the Dark Lord. The son of a man high up in the ministry, reported by Igor Karkafroff to be, in fact, a murderer and evil supporter. He was tried and jailed by his own father, put in wizarding prison, where he died. I saw him in court when I was tried – before his deatheater status was revealed – and I believed he was you. But he would not speak to me – obvious enough now that he was terrified to be seen associating with a known deatheater. But I simply assumed you wanted nothing more to do with me. I was freed, thanks to Albus Dumbledore, and left.

"It was afterwards I found out the man I'd thought was you, was in fact Barty Crouch Junior. I never fully understood what happened, but in the back of my mind, somehow I knew you were not the same person. I hoped maybe you would have some sort of explanation. Either way, if others who also knew Barty Crouch Junior, see you, there will be mass panic when people start to imagine that somehow, Crouch did not die, but escaped. The man you look so very like is a maniac. He has committed the most heinous of crimes, mostly murders of defenceless innocents, and enjoyed it."

The Doctor nodded solemnly, his eyes intense.

"Do you understand, Jack?" the Doctor asked with a sigh.

"I think so." Jack stared blankly at the Doctor "But you're _not _him, right?"

The Doctor took Jack's hands tightly. "No. I'm the Doctor. Time Lord Extraordinaire! Your friend. Owner of the TARDIS. Lover of humans. Maniac, yes, but not _that _one."

Jack squeezed the Doctor's hands back and smiled. "Okay."

The Doctor turned to Snape, who didn't move, but looked directly into his eyes. "It's fine," Snape said. "I don't need to comforting affections. I said – I knew he wasn't you."

The Doctor frowned, leant back and nodded once.

The room seemed to settle into a reflective sort of peace.

"Captain Harkness?" The rich voice spoke his name with no malice. Well, with _less _malice anyway. Jack looked up from the carpet that he'd been staring at without seeing.

"Yeah?"

"Scotch?"

Jack blinked. "Uh, sure. Thanks."

Snape rose and swept over to the drinks cabinet and Jack took the chance to give the Doctor an incredulous look. The Doctor cocked his head as if to say 'There you go. Told you so.' Jack smirked and took the glass that was stiffly being offered to him. He sipped.

"Mmm-_hm_, that it _gorgeous._"

"Please control yourself and the noises you wish to make in your pleasure in my chambers – or would you prefer to be left alone with the whole bottle?"

Jack almost chocked on his next sip, and the doctor laughed out loud. Jack wiped his mouth and caught his breath. From ramrod stiff and anal to _dirty _in seconds! This man was interesting. Snape smirked, and there seemed to be true mirth in his eyes.

This seemed to mark the end of the silence.

"I will…help you." Snape said carefully. "Or at least I will attempt to."

"No reservations about your skill, Sev. You'll do it. Bet you my sonic screwdriver he's got it sorted within the week" The Doctor nudged Jack with his elbow, his eager grin firmly plastered back on his face. "Ah Sev. You, _you _are fan_tastic_!"

"One second." Snape held up a single potion-stained finger to make this clear. "I guarantee nothing, but I will do my best. But I must ask for one thing in return."

All Jack's initial reservations about the man came flooding back and he leant forward aggressively in his chair. "I knew it. Has to be something in it for you doesn't there, buddy? Can't just help the Doc out like he did you?"

"Jack, stop," the Doctor cut in. "What is it, Severus?"

Snape was not perturbed. He gave Jack a fleeting glimpse, but it lacked the antagonism of before. "You must understand how much this mystery has frustrated me. Seeing as I never thought I would see you again to question you, I wish to take this opportunity. While I am working on how to get you home, would you do me the favour of thinking how and why you and Barty Crouch are the same person, visually?"

The Doctor didn't hesitate. "Of Course! Not a problem! I mean, there are plenty of simple explanations I can think of right now – an alternate universe often has a different version of the same person – so a human version of this face, instead of a time lord one. Plus, this isn't my only face!" The Doctor grinned, showing his current face off to its best, Jack considered. But Snape frowned.

"As in, I don't die – I regenerate – same man in a new body." He explained to Snape leaning forwards, his elbows on his thighs, gesturing with his hands "So _his_ face isn'tmy _only_ face…it's complicated."

"I can tell. Nevertheless, please consider this. I don't want a guess; I want an educated answer."

"Of course. Jack and I will put our best thinking hats on!"

"Indeed. As there is an obvious issue with sending you off to sleep somewhere else, you must stay here tonight and I will sort out glamour – a spell to make you look completely different - for you tomorrow, so you can do your research around the wizarding world, un-accosted."

"Sounds good to me! Just do one thing," he added, massaging his face roughly. "Make me good looking for a change, would you? I'm sick of these teeth." He winked at Snape, whose lips quirked very slightly.

"What a pair we'll make, eh, Doc?"

"Oh yes!" The Doctor bounced on the balls of his feet.

"Well, then." Snape studied the two, as if deciding something. " I will configure you a bedroom and get the house elves to bring you some dinner." With this, Snape left through a door to the left of the fireplace. They heard him saying an incantation and he returned.

"I hope a shower will do in the en-suite, instead of a bath. I'm afraid a bath takes up more space and I'm rather fatigued."

"An en-suite? Ah man!" exclaimed Jack, rushing into the newly created room to take a look.

"Thank you, Severus. I know you don't like strangers in your rooms. And thank you so much for saying you'll help," the Doctor added, sincere gratitude etched in his eyes.

Snape gave a genuine, if tight smile, and nodded slightly.

"Goodnight, Doctor".

"Goodnight."

Snape locked the door, cast protection and silencing spell on the wards of his rooms and left through the other door.

The Doctor stood in the middle of the room, coat pushed back and his hands shoved in his trouser pockets, looking after Snape and thinking.

"Uh, Doc?" came the hesitant voice from behind him.

"Yes, Jack, that's a house elf. Please don't shoot it."

"No, it's not the bat eared lil fella. Its just that… um, he's uh… only given us one bed..."

The Doctor, unseen to Jack, smiled ever so slightly.

**Phew! Btch chapter done and dusted!**

**Thank you again to my dearest Beta Sugargrazed, who aided me with some blaring issues in this chapter and assisted me with plot-age ******** Glimps **

**Read and Review please and thankyou!**


	4. Chapter 4

_ i How long have I been holding this book in my hand? /i _Severus thought as he shook himself out of a reverie. His fingers were white at the pressure of his grip. He wasn't even reading it. He didn't even know which book he had plucked from the shelves on entering his chambers. i _Anything would serve as a distraction /i ._ Looking down now, he realized with slight surprise that it was upside-down. Quickly and deftly, he flipped it round the correct way, with a strange feeling of embarrassment. i _There's no body else in here, fool, why even pretend to read?_ /i However, the pages of the book were unfamiliar, and peculiarly crisp, compared to the other well-read books on his shelves. Severus closed the book, subconsciously running a long-fingered hand down the un-creased leather spine.

_ i b 'Social Situations; A Wizard's Guide To Making New Friends, By Geramenia Shamcoddle' /i /b _

The sickeningly happy words shone up at him in misleadingly sophisticated script – Ornately twirly in i _red and gold,_ /i of all colours. It had been a birthday present from Albus. i _Note to self : spike the bowl of blasted lemon drops which the insane and acutely infuriating old bat offers you every single time you enter his office, with the worst potion you can possibly brew. Preferably one which causes immense embarrassment and discomfort to the one ingesting it. /i _Under the text, was a garish picture of a witch in silky silver robes, showing far too much cleavage, in Severus' opinion, sipping delicately from a goblet and now and then, letting out a tinkling laugh and stroking the arm of the well dressed wizard with whom she was in conversation.

With a snarl, Severus tossed it, face down on the coffee table and reached for his glass of Scotch. Which wasn't there. i _Damn and blast it! /i _He had left it in the other room, and he was damned if he was going to walk back in there and risk hearing Merlin knows what from the newly made bedroom, or, the God's forbid, they hear him and investigate in…in the nude. And he wasn't about to go i _sneaking around /i _ in his own quarters! No, the scotch would have to wait until morning. i _Whisky with my breakfast, what a way to be! /i _He smiled ruefully to himself, but the thought was quickly followed by an imaginary voice in his head, sounding suspiciously like the Mcgonagall, saying the exact same thing, in a much less indulgent, far more reprimanding tone. i _Can't they ever leave me be? Even my own brain is siding with them. I /i _like i _my scotch! What else is there in this piss-awful Griffindor playground for me to enjoy? /i _

The image of the Doctor, sprawled, at ease, on his armchair earlier that evening, flashed before his eyes for the briefest of seconds. i _The man still smiles the same… /i _

Severus growled, turned and threw himself onto his four-poster, landed on his back and glared at the canopy, which, in all fairness, had done nothing wrong. If it had been anyone but him, this would have looked somewhat like a childish tantrum. But it wasn't – it was Snape, and even a tantrum performed by Severus Snape is impressive, in an overly-dramatic sort of way. There was no-one there to see it anyway, so he might as well have whined and kicked the mattress with his heels, for all anyone cared.

After a while, could have been ten minutes, could have been an hour, Severus wasn't counting, the snarl had gone. His eyes were shut, and the pale figure looked as peaceful as if he were sleeping, if it were not for his hands held in fists at his sides, his jaw clenched tightly shut and his thin mouth muttering angrily under his breath. All things considered, this was probably as peaceful Severus had been, or could ever be since he was a baby. If he ever i _was /i _ a baby, which, for most who meet him, is somewhat hard to imagine

Now and then a few words could be made out from the indecipherable general diatribe.

"….Fool….blasted…damned FOOL….how dare…yanky…privacy…never….the nerve…Merlin….fucking…. i _Doctor and his pet /i …_"

Severus opened his eyes, the brow above deeply knotted, reached for his wand, spelled off the lights, and rolled sharply onto his side, not even bothering to undress or get under the covers.

"… i _He hasn't even /i _aged_!" _Came the despairing groan from the now darkened bed.

Meanwhile, out of Snape's bedroom, where the poor man lay awake for the best part of the night, berating himself, the Doctor, Jack, the Headmaster, and his parents for letting him live at birth. Across the silent living room, and into a newly made room, with one exceedingly soft, double bed…

The doctor paced. Playing with his sonic screwdriver, which he'd got into the habit of doing when he was thinking, Jack noted.

Jack was sitting against the wall.

The bed lay, un-creased and un-touched, in the other corner.

"…we i _know /i _he's i _not me /i _, Jack!" the doctor willed the man to understand at last, as he rubed his jaw and screwed his eyes up. "We covered this hours ago – He's not me because Barty Crouch has grown up in the public eye of the wizarding world. He didn't just appear with my face and go out killing people pretending to be me! He i _grew into /i _this face! It's…it's his face too."

"But Doc, how i _can /i _ it be?" Jack gestured emphatically with his hands which were resting on his bent and spread knees.

The Doctor sat heavily down on the bed, destroying its crisp, neat hospital corners in the process. His face was calm, but something was busy behind his eyes. He shook his head slightly

"…I don't know…but there's i _something /i _, Jack. Something I think I should be seeing, but I'm not." He leant on his thighs, frowning and spinning the sonic screwdriver between his fingers as he thought.

"Well" Said Jack, with absolutely no caution in disrupting the doctor's puzzling "What have we been through? He's not you, because you weren't born with that face, and defiantely not …here. Wait, do TimeLords _get_ born? …Never mind" Jack smirked at the Doctor's raised eyebrow. "But doc, this isn't our universe, right? What if he's i _this /i _universe's version of you? Y'no, like an evil version?"

"This isn't a Hollywood film, Jack." The Doctor couldn't help as small smile at Jack's musings. "…Not yet, anyway"

"Are ya sure?" Jack smirked. "But anyways, why not? He could have been born…or hatched…or whatever it is you TimeLords do, and then just grown up evil instead of human-loving and freaky like you"

The Doctor threw a pillow at him.

"I'm serious!" Jack laughed, deflecting the pillow and sending it back at the Doctor. "Why not?"

The Doctor caught the returned pillow held it behind his head with both hands, flopped backwards, crossed one ankle over the other and his arms loosely over his ribs.

"Because there is no way, if he knew he was a TimeLord, he could have stayed in one place for his whole life, even if he was, as you put it, 'evil'. I know my race – we're the gypsies of space – never staying in one place too long – always wanting to know what's happening beyond the next star. And if he was more like my forefathers – dusty old history keepers, than like me, he would still yearn to go home. And if, by chance, he i _didn't /i _ know, there's no way he could have got through an entire life without people realizing he wasn't human – you've already seen how sophisticated magic is here" He gestured to the room they were in, which was small, but nicely decorated and much warmer than the other dungeon room had been. "No, Jack" He sighed loudly " I think our only answer is that Barty Crouch was a human. A particularly twisted and cruel one, but a human nonetheless. And his likeness to me is merely one of those interesting anomalies that crop up in alternate universes."

"I don't think Snapey-boy is going to like that much for an answer" Jack said, pushing himself up to his feet and crossing to sit on the foot of the bed, his joints popping slightly as he stretched. The Doctor carefully propped himself up on his elbows to watch Jack flex his arms up and give a little yawn. Through the thin material of Jack's shirt, he could just see the outline of his rips, slight concave belly and slim waist. The Doctor's mouth quirked in un-admitted appreciation of the sight, but before Jack could finish yawning and notice, he answered.

"No, he's not. But I trust Severus to keep trying to help us, even if we can't help him."

"Doc, why do you trust us humans so much?" Jack sat down, next to the Doctor's feet. "The guy's a greaseball! As soon as he realizes we've got nothing to tell him, he'll kick us out on our asses, and then what?"

"Oh I'm not going to tell him i _yet /i _" the Doctor said as he sat up completely, and at Jack's confused expression, continued. "Don't get me wrong, I'm going to explain, but I might just give it a while – give him a chance to…get used to us a bit. And you never know, in that time, our i _wonderful minds /i _" He said the phrase with a grin "might just shine a light on a hitherto un-appreciated possibility."

Jack looked at him, leaning on one of the bed-posts. The sparkle was in the Doctors eyes, and when that happened, Jack had learnt that it was always the best idea (and conveniently the most fun) to just go with the doctor's own individual flow. He cocked his head sideways in a nod of agreement and smirked.

"You're the boss, doc."

"Oooah-yes indeed" The Doctor smirked back, mimicking Jack's tip of the head.

There was a moment where nothing happened but eye contact. The smiles went, and were replaced by completely nothing.

"We're gunna get home, Doc." The Doctor's expression didn't change.

"See, you trust him too."

"No. I trust us. I trust you. Never an apocalypse you haven't got me out of, Doclove." Jack winked and slapped the Doctor's calf.

"Yes, I i _wondered /i _ when that nick-name would enter into your vocabulary since I thought it up. Quite nice, isn't it? Though Jack" and he pulled his face into a mock-serious frown and leant forwards, placing a hand on Jack's cheek "Only in the bedroom, ok?" he grinned and jumped up off the bed, leaving Jack a tad surprised. "Right! A shower for me! Then, I think, sleep. Not something I get much of a chance to do, but that bed is bloody comfy".

With that he was in the bathroom, door shut, shower running and already singing loudly.

"Uh- i _huh /i _" Jack stated, taking up the Doctor's former position on the bed, arms crossed behind his head and a wining smile being offered up to the indifferent ceiling.


End file.
